UKIP MP Wannabe Chased Out Of Party By Couple Who Talk To Angels

I could not wait to get back to my desk and type this post!

I will start by explaining why I am so excited. Today was a bad day for myself. Nothing particularly unpleasant happened to me, it was just dull, tiresome and completely uneventful. The sort of day that is undesirable to someone who is 'self-employed', whilst simultaneously managing to not be the least bit irksome. It was a textbook example of a nothing day. A day slowly ticking by, minutes the length of days, everyone filled with no real response to anything. That was until my journey home! Upon a chance reading of an article I was overcome with joy, a smile crept across my otherwise solemn face, and laughter burst forth uncontrollably as if erupting from some long dormant volcano unleashing its wrath upon the days apathy (it seemed that long to me). My mind wandered between the errors that these UKIPpers had made when describing this couples beliefs (as you would expect from that bunch of idiots), and the delights of imagining how conversations between the parties involved would have played out. So lets take a trip into the wonderland, the gift that keeps on giving, the little Englanders imaginarium, UKIP. Time to pick it apart and highlight it as the traditional inane ramblings of UKIP members, full of contradictions and inaccuracies.

I guess I should start by highlighting why the ex-UKIP candidate Jake Baynes and his local party chairman Graham Livings exemplify stupidity. This is mostly out of courtesy for those who practise the same or similar spiritualities, but also for my own enjoyment. 

JB: "I do think if someone is saying you are in touch with the angelic realms I have to call into question their judgement."

As opposed to being spoken to or listened to by God? In whatever form he/she may take thinking a mystical being living in the sky or another realm is listening to you is bizarre when you state it like that. How can you make such bold claims dismissing one set of beliefs and claiming they have no place in your party, whilst at the same time ignoring equally irrational beliefs expressed by other party members? Are Christians not infiltrating your party with their wacky beliefs? This is particularly odd when you think about it separate from the 'crazies' tag he is trying to label their beliefs as, 'angelic realms' sounds suspiciously like popular culture's representation of Heaven does it not? 

JB: "Everyone's got their different beliefs. It's not for me to belittle anyone's beliefs. People have different views. But if Ukip is trying to shake off this fruitcake image thing, we're not doing a good job of it." 

Oh Jake Baynes this quote started so well... Right up until the but! When a UKIPper says that little word you know it is all going to go wrong. You cannot say it is not your place to belittle yourself and then imply that because of their beliefs they are fruitcakes. That is belittling their beliefs! That is contradicting yourself within four sentences! That is UKIP! I can see why he was relatively well thought of within the party.

GL: "We've been infiltrated by the Glastonbury occult. I've heard a lot of people say locally they won't be voting for Ukip because of this. It needs to be addressed."

Now now Graham! Calm down a bit! I am sure you have heard them say they will not be voting for UKIP for multiple reasons. Mostly, I imagine, because you are a bunch of xenophobic ultra-right-wingers who could not care less about the plight of anyone other than your rich chums. Are you planning on doing something about that too? Or will you simply continue with that one policy you have? The one which is to be scared and hateful of anything that is not 'English enough' for your followers. If it is the latter I am sure your followers could not care less about someone's 'occult' connections. In fact it probably would make them the sanest person in UKIP. 

*GL: "Ukip has a prescribed list which states the no one who has been a member of the BNP or the English Defence League should be a member, but when they sat down and wrote out the prescribed list, they wouldn't have thought to put occultists down." 

Yeah, because being a practising alternative spiritualist and then wanting to join UKIP is beyond the pale. It is comparable to (or worse than) being member of a racist party or group and then joining a bunch of xenophobes. At least openly racist people (along with view equally as archaic) would be voted for by your membership and supporters.

*JB: "They say they get their divine inspirations from the Archangel Michael, and to be honest, I don't think that has a part to play in politics".

To be fair to Jake Baynes, this time I couldn't agree more. I do not think that religion or spiritual beliefs and politics should be mixed at all. What was that about gay rain?

**GT: "Ukip are not out to demonise everybody".

Nope, not at all. I have never known UKIP to demonise (or be derogatory towards) large swathes of the UK population, just: immigrants, homosexuals, women, the poor, environmentalists, non-Christians, ethnic minorities, the list goes on and on.

And they're off again the Wacky Racists go on and on. Each liar determined to win, manoeuvring for position, looking for the opening that will put him in the lead. 

Will the Dastardly Dicks ever manage to win a race? Or will they always fall short? Drat, Drat, and Double Drat!*** 

*Quote from a different source to the original article that inspired this post.

**Glenn Tucker, UKIP party member; also one of the 'occultists'.
***Yes I know it was a poor joke, but I really wanted to call them Wacky Racists. Also Dastardly Dicks kind of suits them!